See, I was broke all weekend. That is, I was not liquid. I had scads of money dawdling from one account to the one I can access with my debit card. Thought it would be here Friday, but it wasn't, so I had to go all weekend without. It was in my account first thing this morning, so I knew my planned schedule was shot: no bike ride first thing, no visualization, no meditation, I had to take care of some business and do some desperately needed shopping.
Going without doesn't bother me so much, as long as I know there's something coming in soon. Scrapping my plans to deal with contingencies is fine, I know being flexible is a greater asset than being consistent. But when these situations arise, my crutch helps me deal with them. In the short term, anyway. That is, as long as I'm hooked on nicotine, it will help me cope better than going without. In the long term, after I've quit for some time, coping will generally be easier. It's just that transition period when everything will seem like it's going haywire.
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